The wildest day of my life!

We somehow won big on ‘Ant & Dec’s Limitless win’

Imagine though I’d just met the absolute heroes of my life, Ant and Dec, and then had to try and hold myself together for a life changing game show?

So yeah it’s been such an intense experience, and a huge blessing, so I wanted to share a bit about what the heck just happened to us!

My husband Dan & I were just on season 4 episode 4, of Ant and Dec’s Limitless Win, which is a crazy intense game show that can absolutely change your life! I’ll tell you about what it was like, and what we intend to do next…

And if you haven’t seen the episode,✨I wore my own painted dress, which Dec called beautiful✨Oh and also I told the nation that I’m autistic & ADHD✨and won some money which will definitely affect the future of We Are Hairy People✨ But really, this post won’t make much sense if you’ve not seen the episode, so maybe go do that here first.

My biggest fear

I was an undiagnosed neurodivergent, until I reached the age of 30, so I’m super used to being misunderstood. I was pretty scared to put myself out there, it’s pretty vulnerable, and the thing I most expected was for people to say was that I’m not autistic or adhd.

Turns out, no one’s said that, and watching the episode it seems crazy that I thought I would blend in 😂

You wouldn’t think I would be so happy to read the rare message that says ‘I find her weird’, but yep, I’m like THANK YOU, yes I am! Proof! 

And of course, much more overjoyed to hear from my community that I have been found to be things like ‘adorable’ and ‘relatable’ ‘unmasked’ ‘authentic’ and that my energy was infectious! Such amazing things to hear of course, and for those who found me annoying, I totally get that too, completely understandable.

The support we’ve received has been astounding, so many messages of love, which has been so amazing to receive!

What it was like being neurodivergent on tv: 

Ok so ya I mentioned I’m autistic and adhd, and that I thought people wouldn’t believe me but instead it, ‘explains why she was how she was’, haha…

While usually I’m overloaded and overwhelmed, sometimes I can switch off the things around me using hyper-focus… it feels like I’m in a bubble and I only take in information from extremely select sources. For example, I could hear the questions, talk to dan, talk to Ant and Dec… and that’s it, I couldn’t consider the audience, the lights, cameras, the limitless ladder. I couldn’t read the money nor the lives, nor have concept of time passing, including the minute countdown, so I was constantly assuming that the time had nearly ran out, even when it had just started. I had to block out the feeling of hair and make up, which I never wear for sensory reasons- I was so grateful to the team for keeping it as minimal and sensory friendly as possible. 

Half of me was masking- so I was hiding things like stimming and tics. These are voluntary and involuntary movements that help with emotional regulation, but that makes people who don’t understand them, feel unsettled when they see it. It’s nothing concerning usually.

The other half of me was very unmasked, showing my emotions and thoughts as clearly as possible.

Processing lots of things is a particularly challenging thing for neurodivergent people- if you imagine a funnel, where information is taken in at the top and filtered through the spout… well neurodivergent people have massive funnels that take in so much information, and tiny spouts at the bottom which take time for that information to process through.

In fact, I felt like that was one of the biggest reasons I wanted to run for the hills when the scary final question popped up: I noticed that my processing capacity as a neurodivergent person was shutting down, and I would soon loose my ability to think, followed my by ability to talk and then possibly move too. Because being ND is actually a huge deal and can have pretty serious repercussions.

Another reason we ran away with so many lives, is cause we would not have been able to cope if we had lost this money. 

It feels like ten million to us, we value this gift so highly, and never imagined we would be anywhere near this amount of winnings, so we absolutely weren’t remotely prepared for the situation we ended up in.

I very much felt the effects of having a differently processing brain on the day, but I’ve been practicing for this my whole life, and am so grateful that my brain was mostly on my side. 

I’ve found that so long as Dan is with me, I’m all good.

I’m also so grateful for the accommodations and understanding that I was given by the limitless team, and I felt so cared for and considered!

The limitless future

We’re honoured and astounded to have been blessed with this opportunity, and will put it to the best use we can.

It was hard to explain with all the cameras and people, but our winnings will give us the chance to buy our first home, where we can make a safe sensory space for all the neurodiversity in our family, as well as have an art studio in the garden, so that We Are Hairy People can thrive again- we can do art workshops for ND kids in our community, finally get our son his ducks that he’s been waiting his whole life for, and call them Ant & Duck of course! 

Once I have an art studio again, I’m also hoping to be able to create painting kits to help people paint at home. This would include self-love art projects for ND families, and also creating online tutorials, to facilitate using creativity for connection and confidence.

This chance feels like such a massive gift, and it’s hard to comprehend. Even more-so meeting my life long heroes, I’m super lucky I managed to hold it together with my neurodivergence 😂

By the way, Ant picked me up and spun me and said our intentions are noble and Dec hugged me and said my work was beautiful, so I guess my life is complete now or whatever.